My social media account have been sitting dead in the water for a while. And to be honest I love it. But then my life did a backflip (yes, it's a breakup. no, I will not write details about it) and I ended up on a downwards spiral of depression and dissociation. It's not great. It's not going great at all. And one thing I noticed I keep itching to do was to just shitpost, blurt out any brainfart I have, engage with fandoms, fill the void with community around my hyperfixations. I need the chaos to put myself back together. But that meant going back to some sort of social media.

I refuse to use Twitter in any shape or form (and yes, I'm deadnaming it, when in Rome...), I kinda felt the need to dive into Facebook groups but I don't wanna open what's left of my Facebook least I see things I don't wanna see (I will someday get the nerve to go and set things so up so it's not painful to be there, but not yet, I still only open it straight to the events page). Instagram has never been much of an interactive place for me even when I used to use it regularly. I considered using Threads but...meta. I hate that I still have the accounts I do as is, I didn't need another meta thing. I got all twitchy about it and tried to figure out a way to use the blog to meet my shitposting and chaos needs, probably there's a good way to do it. But I'm not running at 100% and I need easy now. And then I remembered...the hellhole...the trashheap....shitposting central...Tumblr.

For a bit I considered wheather I should log into my old account and deal with the consequnces or make a new one. I decided to log into my old one...and oh boy...this is MY account alright. The first thing I see is a pst with the NSFW filter on and I'm thinking "oh no, here we go, the accounts I used to see went to shit" but I click to see what the damage. It was a blast from the past compilation of Andy Biersack from back in the day when he had big hair and was a sneeze away from flashing everyone. And the comments were pure comedy gold. Scroll a little more and the nerd accounts are already nerding on stuff that I normally gravitated to too since I logged into this hellhole. It's like I never left. I instantly fell back into commenting and interacting.

And then I saw the new thing. It blew my mind. It has a community thing now. Like Facebook Groups but on Tumblr. Fuck yes, this is the exact chaos that I need to handcrack my brain back into gear and get myself out of this depression before I get to that part of me that wants to be drastic. He's still there. He's a total drama queen. I'd rather not let him out of his cage.

The rabbit hole also pulled me into Discord. So I guess hey, if anyone whants to talk shit with me I'm @charoncat on both Tumblr and Discord. I need the distraction. Come say hi or just shout something stupid at me. I don't care.

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posted from rock bottom

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Send me a bird